everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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