Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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