we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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