My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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