guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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