he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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