it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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