Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
