i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
