shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
