i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
