M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
