He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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