With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You are a genius and a whore.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
