All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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