i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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