If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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