so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
