omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
