It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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