At least make sure they are 18
Why
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
