..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
