Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
