I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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