you're like a bully in the Christmas story
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
