I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
