he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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