if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
