i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
