I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
