Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
