Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
