dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
