I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
