Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
