Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
