just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
