Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
