I cockslap morals
my sisters under your porch take her home
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
