all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
