You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
