i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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