Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We have started to decorate penises.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize