that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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