That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
