You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Enjoy the penises
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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