She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
