This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Pants are for mortals
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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