another moral hangover. fuck.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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