what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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