I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
