I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
