She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
