He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
